Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Try a bite before you say no, please.

Our dog, Sebastian.

Really, those few words summarize it all for anyone who has met him. And, really, since my co doggy owner is the only person who follows my blog, I suppose I could stop writing now. But, I've never been known for being quiet just because no one is listening.

I believe there should be a catalog of all of the things Sebastian has eaten and not noticed. Here goes my best attempt at remembering it all:

1. At least 10-12 whole pairs of underwear. Some of them mine, some of them guests who didn't believe me when I told them to shut the door.

2. Endless piles of trash and all the goodies found within. He has no preference for any particular kind of garbage cuisine. Spaghetti, cherry pie, burger is to you what bathroom trash, bedroom trash, kitchen trash is to Sebastian. Our kitchen trash is now bolted to the furniture.

3. 3 bottles of fish oil pills and a glass jar of prenatal vitamins - including the glass jar.

4. Diapers

5. Zinc oxide cream

6. An entire bottle of hemmroid cream. Beyond being funny that he ate hemmroid cream, let me note that that stuff works because it's a vassal dilator. Not the best thing to send flooding into your blood stream.

7. Plastic bags from the grocery store (whole)

8. Goose poop by the barrel

9. Elk duds (elk poop kindly renamed for the puppies who love them)

10. The paper liner out of the bottom of a pizza box. I could actually read "Little Caesars" when that one came out.

11. Our employee's lunches, breakfasts, and snacks

12. a Thanksgiving dinner

13. Packing peanuts (learned later that those have vegetable oil in them. Apparently that makes them close enough to food to satisfy Sebi's palate.

14. An entire duraflame log

15. An entire pumpkin (we figured out where it went when he burped up some seeds)

Oh, I just know there's more. My stomach hurts just thinking about it. Sebi's growls :).


  1. I didn't know you had a blog too! Yippee!
    Poor Sebastian! He's an eater, not a fighter.

  2. Dear G-d, a Duraflame log? ...Ok, speechless here...